We had been told last week that Roy was going to be doing a baptism service for their church in the swimming pool at their apartment this week. Rachel made the decision to get baptized this Sunday. It was beautiful. I'm so proud of her and so glad that I got to be there for it.
Praying over Rachel.
Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? We were therefore buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the father, we too may live a new life. Romans 6: 3-4
Sunday was also special because Roy and Bonita took us out for Mary and Rachels going away dinner. They took us to this delicious French restaurant.
This Nutella Crepe was SO good it's ridiculous!
Roy and Bonita are really such great people and I'm glad I don't have to say goodbye just yet.
"We often presume that trust will dispel the confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case. Our trust does not bring final clarity on this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, as Jesus did on the cross, "Into your hands I commit my spirit" (Luke 23:46)… Against insurmountable obstacles and without a clue as to the outcome, the trusting heart says, "Abba, I surrender my will and my life to you without any reservation and with boundless confidence, for you are my loving father.”
- Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust
God's been giving me a little lesson on trust lately.
First, when the riots were going on in Bangkok, things were up in the air for awhile about whether or not we would still be able to come, or if we could we weren’t sure when.
Then, when things started calming down and everything looked ok for us to go, we got to the airport and weren’t actually able to leave when originally planned anyway.
I was starting to catch on that even though I knew that God had put Thailand on my heart, and that I would eventually end up here, that I still needed to trust Him to do it in His timing.
Ever since we’ve been here, I’ve felt like I needed to be praying about how long I would stay. I wasn’t positive what that meant. But I knew I needed to be praying about it.
Over the last few wks, I’ve been e-mailing back and forth with a few people to find out what the possibilities would even be for me to stay longer, and through much prayer have decided to stay until December.
I miss everyone at home so much already and know it’s going to be hard to be away from everyone for so long, but I’m so excited about being here and staying a little longer than originally planned. I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and I feel a peace about staying.
So, who knows what the next few months will hold. God is full of surprises, and this is the part where I’m just saying “Ok. I’ll stay” and letting Him take care of the rest.
When I am most afraid, I put my trust in you; in God I put my trust, fearing nothing. Psalm 56:3-4
Rachel and Mary will be heading back to the states on July 4th. All of the girls we've made friends with in the pool bars have already expressed how much they're going to miss them.
But, it makes for a good excuse to try to get some of our friends from the pool bars to come see Beginnings! We're having a going away party/lunch for them next week on Friday. We're saying it's "for Rachel and Mary", but really... it's all about the girls that we're hoping will be able to come. It's going to be from 10:00am-4:30pm (it's a come and go thing so that hopefully it will be able to work with a lot of the girls schedules for them to be able to come). That will be 11:00pm Thursday -5:30am Friday your time. I expect you all to stay up through the night to be in prayer about this. :) I'm joking. But seriously... This will be an awesome opportunity for the girls to get to see Beginnings and meet Ann and the girls here and to hear what Beginnings it is all about.
Be praying that many of the girls we have invited will be able to come and that their hearts would be open to hearing about Beginnings.
We had an instant connection the first time we met and I’ve loved going back to see her almost every day and slowly working through the language barrier to learn more about her each time I see her.
The other day we drew “tattoos” on each other. I asked her what she wanted, and she said for me to draw a rose. Then I told her to write a thai word on my wrist, but I told her to choose what to write.
When I asked her what it said, she said “narak” and smiled. Narak means lovely.
I had to take a minute and remind myself to smile so I wouldn’t cry. When she looked at me, the word that came to mind was “lovely”. I couldn’t help but wonder what she sees when she looks at herself. I’ve heard from so many of the girls here how dirty and used they feel. And if they aren’t feeling that, many of them are choosing to block out their emotions so that they don’t have to feel anything at all. But, I hope that through our friendship I am able to show her just how loved and “lovely” she is. I hope that I am able to help her to see that she is worth so much more than she’s been taught and experienced that she is worth and that I could show her a glimpse of her worth and beauty. I hope to be able to help her see herself the way God sees her.
Free them from their misery and lies Free them from the hope that has died Free them from their overtaken lives Free them
For you so loved the World That you gave your one and only Son To take a world full of pain And make a way You’re the only way
Free them to a life that is restored Free them to a shame that is no more Free them to a beauty that is sure Free them
For you so loved the world That you gave your one and only Son To take a world full of pain And make a way For you so loved the world That you gave your one and only Son To take a world full of pain And make a way You’re only way
And we pray you’ll send us out To change this world for you Without a doubt We'll pray to you cause you're the only one
Free them to a love that has no bounds Free them to where faith resounds Free them to know a Father that adores Just who they are Free them to your heart
Since we’ve been here we have spent one evening a week at Bonita’s house. They always feed us something for dinner that’s not Thai, which we love. The Thai food is great, but it’s nice to have a little taste of home.
We had all read a book that Bonita had asked us to read called, To Be Told. It’s about our stories and how God uses us and our stories for His glory.
Last week Bonita, her husband Roy, and Mary shared their stories with us. This week Rachel and I shared ours. It’s heartbreaking and beautiful to see the places that each of us has walked through and the ways that those things have shaped us into the people we are.
One thing that I realized as all of us shared our stories was that the greatest impacts in our stories were usually caused by people. God used people in each of our lives to change our stories in a big way.
Part of To Be Told said:
“God wants us to relieve suffering, pursue justice, facilitate reconciliation, and free the heart to love, but he desires for us to do so in a way that reveals his character. It is not enough just to do well for others or to do things well. We must do well in our unique way in order to reveal the vast creativity of a God who loves to bring change through the most unlikely channels.
Therefore our way of engagement may be to pray, administrate, teach or serve. Or it could be to juggle, sing, mime, or paint. Or lead, confront, repair, or nurture. Each of us will do what we do with a style that reveals something about God in a way that no one else can.”
All of the girls that we have become friends with while we have been here have stories that seem terribly unfair. Shaped by a culture that doesn’t value them, a family that only values them for how much money they can get from them, regardless of what they have to do to earn that money, and by men who use them as toys created solely for the purpose of their own pleasure, leaving them feeling used and empty.
I pray that God would be able to use me to impact the stories of some of these precious girls. Although it hurts when I think of the part of their stories that they are walking through now, I pray and hope for a day that God would bring them out of the darkness they are experiencing now, and into the light of His amazing love.
I was sitting on my bed, in my room at Beginnings the other day, helping my special little friend Bebe with her vocabulary homework when she got out a pen and started to write something on her hand.
She had no idea how profound what she wrote would be for me. So simple. And so true. It's what we do every day for the girls that we've come to know and love.
May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:22
After an emotionally draining week, Ann took us to Amphawa (which is about an hour and a half away from Bangkok), for a little overnight getaway.
But, first of all. On our way out, Ann drove by a building to show us some of the effects from the riots that were going on in Bangkok shortly before we got here.
Wow. I have no doubt that God had His hand in keeping us from coming until all of that had a little more time to calm down.
Back to Amphawa.
This was the view from outside our room. Would you think it was gross if I told you we swam in that water later that night?
Waiting on the boat to take us to the floating market. (Nis, Bebe, Ann, Me, Mary and Nim :) )
On the boat
The floating market
When we got back we decided to take a swim. This is Bebe. I love this girl!
After just a little bit of peer pressure we got everyone in but Nim.
It was a great time to rest and rejuvenate, but I am so ready to get back out there and spend some more time with our girls.
I feel like there has been so much going on inside of me over the past few days, but it's hard to put it into words.
Every time we see our new friends in the pool bars, I get more and more attached to them. I was talking to Bonita about that and she said it doesn't take long for them to work their way into your heart. It's so true. I just met them on Tuesday and I already have such a deep love for them.
It was really hard for me to leave the last pool bar that we went into on Friday. That is the bar where the girl I wrote about in my last post works. I love going in to see her. Just seeing her reaction when she saw us walk in, made my day. She shouted and jumped up off of the stool she had been sitting on and threw her arms in the air to hug us. Many of the other girls reactions are similar. I love that we can be a bright spot in their day. They certainly brighten ours!
But Friday it was especially hard for me to leave. I just hate knowing that when we leave, they are still there. And it breaks me when I think of what they may face later in the day.
I wanted to share the story behind the song, The God of This City, as it has constantly resonated with my prayers while i have been here this past week.
This song has become an encouragement to me and I find myself singing it in my head as I walk through the bars and praising God for its truth.
You're God of this city You're the King of these people You're the Lord of this nation, you are You're the Light in this darkness You're the Hope to the hopeless You're the Peace to the restless, you are
You're the Lord of creation The creator of all things You're the King above all kings, you are You're the Strength in the weakness You are Love to the broken You're the Joy in the sadness, you are
For there is no one like our God there is no one like You, God
Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done here
Yesterday we started teaching English at Beginnings. I will be working with Jit and Meow while i am here.
We haven't met Jit yet because she has been home with her family since before we got here and won't be back until the 16th. So, until then I will only work with Meow.
She did great yesterday! We had a lot of fun.
Meet Meow
I'm pretty sure in the last picture her hand motion meant "smile!", we had been working on "smile" and "frown".
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Since I was a child I have had those truths instilled in me. My parents were always intentional about making sure I knew how much they loved me, and how valuable I am to them. But even more importantly, they made sure I knew how much God loves me, and how valuable I am to Him.
These girls were never taught that. They were told that their worth comes from bringing honor to their family, and that they will honor their family by providing for them. Because of a lack of means to be able to provide for their family in any other way, they turn to the sex trade.
I have so much to be thankful for.
Last night I went with Bonita and Nit for my first night of outreach. We went into the gogo bars, and it was all I could do to hold myself together. I had prayed that God would break my heart for the girls the way that His is broken for them, so it was no surprise that it was difficult.
The girls would rotate on the bars, they would dance for a few songs and then switch and a different group of girls would go up to dance. While they were dancing, their blank stares broke my heart. You could see the disconnect from themselves and what they were doing.
When they were able to take a break, we would talk to them and there was an immediate transition in their demeanor. They were so friendly, and their smiles were contagious. It was refreshing to see them be able to enjoy themselves for even just a few minutes.But as soon as they had to go back to dancing, the mask went right back up.
I can't wait to be able to build relationships with these girls and I pray that God would be able to use me to show them His love.
When we got home, one of the girls from Beginnings opened the gate to let us in and I couldn't help but be amazed at God and what He does. A few of the girls here were prevention cases, but many of them were bar girls. It's just beautiful to see how far God has brought them from that. When I look at them I see a perfect picture of 2 Corinthians 5:17.
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Please be praying. Tonight will be the first night of outreach.
Bonita talked with us today about what we can expect when we go into the bars. She told us that there is nothing to be afraid of as far as our physical safety in the bars, but that we are very emotionally unsafe. I feel like I have been preparing for this for so long through prayer and by reading and hearing about it, but I know that seeing it first hand is going to have a completely different impact on me.
Bonita is going to take Mary, Rachel and I each individually, along with one of the girls from Beginnings for our first night of outreach. I will be going tonight and Rachel and Mary will each go over the next two nights. One of them will go on Tuesday and one of them will go on Wednesday. Please be in prayer for each of us as we go.
It is hard to know how I will react, but I am praying that the Lord will guide my steps and that He will protect my heart and my emotions as I see and process everything.
I'm finding rest in this tonight:
I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I have called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 43:9-10
We met Bonita yesterday and talked with her about what things will look like for us as far as teaching English to the girls here at beginnings and doing outreach in the bars. We won’t start either until Monday.
If you don't go to Brentwood and/or don't know who Bonita is. She is the founder of Beginnings. And if you don't go to Brentwood and/or haven't seen this video you should watch it. It is great and Bonita is in it, so it will give you a face to put to the name.
My heart has already felt heavy since we’ve been here. The darkness is so pervasive. It’s everywhere. From overhearing explicit conversations on the plane between men discussing the “one reason” they come here, to looking out my window last night to see a young Thai girl walking hand in hand with an older western man, I have finally seen it firsthand. It is one thing to read the books and hear the stories about everything that goes on here, but it is completely different to be face to face with it.
Here are some specific ways you can be in prayer for us now: Pray that we would be able to adjust quickly to the time change and that the jet lag will wear off soon. Also please be praying for us as we begin outreach on Monday. There will be a lot for us to process.
In the mean time, we've been enjoying a little bit of r & r while we're getting settled in. Ann has been doing a great job of showing us a little bit of Bangkok.
Yesterday we rode our first tuk tuk.
Today Ann took us to a mall where we tried some Thai food. mmm.
Here we are on the way there.
Rachel and I are in the back. And in the front is Bebe (Ann's daughter. She's adorable), Nim and Mary.
The first thing we tried was this salad. I'm not even going to try to spell the name.
Here Ann and I are taking our first bites. She had actually never tried it before either. She wasn't a huge fan. I thought it was pretty good.
I already love Ann by the way. She's really great.
And the last food picture for this post (I promise). This was a jelly type food that they eat for dessert.
It's been great meeting and getting to spend some time with the girls here. They have been wonderful. I can already tell I'm going to make some great friends this summer.
We're here! We landed in Bangkok at 11:20 pm Thursday night (thai time). We woke up around 8:00. It's about 11:30 now and the jet lag is starting to kick in.
The emotions yesterday ran the full spectrum from being really excited to finally get to Bangkok to being a little bit scared of the unknown. Towards the end of our flight from Tokyo to Bangkok I looked at the monitor on the plane and it said we had an hour and a half until we landed. Cue the second end of the spectrum of emotions. The nerves kicked in. But then I remembered that a good friend had given me a card to read on the flight and I hadn't read it yet. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I just wanted to share part of it because it is my heart and my prayers for this trip and these girls:
"Their story is yours to tell. You have read the book(s), now you enter into the chapters. You will witness first hand their pain, their sorrow, their loneliness and their captivity to their lifestyle. Your emotions will run high and low, they will also run deep. There will be times you will have questions without answers, but remind yourself that you go as his faithful servant. You go to share his love with these girls and maybe be a piece to the puzzle that changes their story forever. Don't be misguided by how some of them may play the part so well. Deep down we are all girls/women that seek love and respect, not to be bought and sold for empty acts of pleasure. Their honor to their family is strong and all they do is for them, I pray that for you that you will be able to share with them that Christ's love is stronger and deeper than they will ever know. I pray that you get many opportunities to just sit and talk with these women, to be their friend. Despite the challenge of the language barrier I pray that the Holy Spirit would fill those voids of words."
That is my prayer.
Since we've been here we have met a few of the girls at Beginnings and I love them already.
Here's a picture of my space for the next two months :)
Ok for real this time. I'm leaving for Thailand in just a few hours.
We're flying out of Roanoke at 6:15 this morning and will have a layover in Detroit and Seattle before our 19 hour and 10 minute flight to Bangkok.
It's going to be a long long very long day but I don't think I could be more excited to finally be going! I can't wait to meet the faces that have been on my heart for such a long time.
It feels good to say that the next time I'll be updating on here will be when I have arrived safe and sound in Bangkok.
